LOVE, HOME AND FAMILY

Luckily, in the last few days, I had a respite from suffering. The giver passed me memories of love, home and family. I really cannot believe we have lost such beautiful feelings.


Today, I dared asked the Giver which his favourite memory was and he gave me a memory of a celebration beside a decorated pine tree where people of different ages got together and exchanged presents. I was surprised to see old people mixing with the young, and the Giver explained to me that they were called "grandparents", and in the past they were not segregated in the House of the Old, as they are today. Even though I think we have a better organization in our community, we have still lost some things, like the joyful spirit of that celebration, and the warmth of a home, which I have learnt about in the memories the Giver passed me these last days.

I was so moved by the love that the people in that room with the decorated pine tree seemed to have for each other, that when I got home, I decided to ask my parents if they loved me. They told me "love" was a meaningless word, that it had become obsolete. I told them I understood what they meant, but the truth is that was my first lie to my parents. How can I understand the fact that we don´t love each other any more?!


As time goes by, I feel more and more lonely. The only one I am creating stronger bonds in my dwelling with is Gabe. I´ve shared many memories with him by now. This makes me feel necessary but at the same time I know it is prohibited. He is getting used to memories and if someday I am discovered, I´m sure I will be punished in some way.

I´ve decided not to take pills anymore. I want to see what happens. I don´t see feelings are so bad after all.